“Six
hours in profiling, that is just nuts!” Connor said, shaking his
head in disbelief at his companion.
“Yeah,
I'm used to it though”, Mohmad answered, then continued with a
smile. “When your mother is from Chechnya and your father from Iran
you get used to showing up at the airport really early and still
potentially missing your flight. They ask every question seven
different ways trying to trip you up in a contradiction so they can
deny you boarding. They've got monthly targets for 'detections' so
unless they've already met quota I'm always in for a rough ride.”
Laughing
and still shaking his head, Connor picked up his bacon sandwich and
bit into it but as his jaw closed there was an audible crack and he
winced.
”What
the...” he said, reaching into his mouth gingerly. In moments he
confirmed his suspicion, feeling the jagged edge where only smooth
surface should exist. He checked for any hard objects in the sandwich
but saw nothing that would give reason for raising a complaint with
the restaurant staff.
“Broken
tooth?” Mohmad asked. “Haven't seen that happen in years.”
“Yeah
it is weird”, Connor answered, “I'd better message my dentist.”
Grabbing
a glass of water, he swirled some around his mouth to clear it. A
look of consternation came across his face and he froze momentarily,
then spat into the glass. Quickly sinking through the water were two
whole teeth, with complete roots. The friends both stared quietly at
the glass in quiet disbelief.
After
several seconds Connor shook off the shock and reached for his
communicator, hitting the entry for his dentist. Seconds later a
short text message appeared on the screen, stating that the clinic
was closed for the day.
“Why
would the clinic be closed at one in the afternoon on a weekday?”
Connor asked.
“Why
don't you call my dentist instead, she's great. Really knows her
stuff and doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Here I'll wave the contact
to you.”
Quickly
manipulating his device, Mohmad brought up the entry for his dentist
and then held his communicator over Connor's communicator, shaking it
gently once as if adding a little salt to a dish.
The
entry appeared on Connor's communicator and he selected it, sending a
brief query. Just six seconds later a calendar appointment opened up
on screen and he confirmed acceptance. A Galileo position dot
instantly appeared on the map application, showing estimated travel
time from his current location to the clinic.
“Ok,
I've got an appointment 45 minutes from now so I'd better get going.
Catch up with you another time, ok? Maybe at the old library, they've
turned it into a hacker space and maker's workshop now, some of the
kids are turning out really cool micro-satellites.”
“All
right, yeah I'll see you there. Go get your teeth fixed, I'll get the
bill here.” Mohmad answered, waving his friend away before Connor
could reach for the NFC pod on the table.
***
“Ok,
you've broken a molar and lost two incisors. It is very unusual,
actually I've never seen anything like this. You said you haven't had
any sore gums or bleeding?” the dentist, Jaśmina, asked.
“None,
no problems at all for years.” Connor answered, speaking as well as
he could with the dentist probing deep inside his mouth with a metal
instrument.
“I'm
going to probe the area around the adjacent teeth, signal if you feel
any pain.” Jaśmina continued.
Moments
later she paused, shock registering on her face before she slammed
down a neutral, professional demeanour. Slowly she retracted a whole
tooth, dropping it into a tray and then turned slightly towards her
lapel microphone, calmly dictacting into it.
“Lower
right premolar detached when probed, no sign of gum disease or
damage. No bleeding or pain”. The case file on her computer
instantly updated with the voice clip and a transcript.
Turning
back to Connor, she continued “What is your dental history?
Anything unusual, maybe something in the family history?”
Connor
shook his head, staring at the tooth in the tray. “No, nothing
unusual. I had a full replacement about six years ago and no problems
since then, not a single cavity. They were the good stuff, some
patented method. My dentist went on about how great they were and I
paid a fortune for the job, but it was worth it... well, until now I
suppose.”
“I'm
going to need the contact details for your dentist and authority to
pull your case from central records, Connor. I don't want to
speculate so if you could please be patient and let me investigate
this fully I'll get back to you, ok? Don't eat anything for now,
maybe just get water or get a smoothie. Use a straw if you are hungry
and absolutely have to eat.”
***
It
was almost seven in the evening before his communicator buzzed.
Picking it up immediately he scanned the message, seeing it was
another appointment with Jaśmina at the dental clinic in just an
hour. He quickly accepted, glancing down at the glass in front of
him. At the bottom of the clear water were another six teeth,
gleaming white with long roots. It had been a horrifying experience,
sitting at the franchise chia outlet, feeling his teeth falling out
one after the other.
He
hadn't been able to drink or eat anything, fearing that it would
dislodge the remaining teeth, and had spent the day cursing his old
dentist and trying to contact him to get answers. The office had
remained closed and none of the alternate contacts or even emergency
number had worked. He had given up on hearing back from Jaśmina
today so the message was an enormous relief.
An
hour later he was at the clinic but wasn't called into the treatment
room. Instead Jaśmina invited him into her office and asked him to
sit down. She unrolled a display on the desk in front of him, the
bright screen showing Connor's treatment history.
“I
couldn't reach your old dentist today, it seems the clinic has been
closed. I've checked the tooth that I extracted earlier today and
compared it to your dental records. Connor, it seems that you were
sold unlicensed teeth.”
“Unlicensed?
What does that mean?” he answered, confusion clear on his face. “I
paid a fortune! What about consumer rights, don't I have some kind of
legal protection?”
“Consumer
rights don't protect you when you have bought counterfeit goods,
actually you could be fined for buying them. Your dentist was not an
authorized practitioner. It looks like his license had expired about
six months before he grew your teeth from stem cells using the
patented method. The rights holder seems to have caught up with him
and discovered the malpractice. They activated the remote kill switch
yesterday and your teeth are dislodging.”
“Remote
kill switch! What are you talking about? How can somebody kill my
teeth?” Connor replied in horror. “They were grown from my stem
cells, I paid for the procedure, they are my teeth!”
“It
is like remote deletion of ebooks”, Jaśmina answered. “You know
how when they find copyright infringement in a text, like
unattributed quotes, the title is removed remotely?” Connor nodded
and she went on “Basically each tooth is implanted with a tiny chip
that includes details on method, the dentist license number, a serial
number and so on. It also has a remote kill switch, so if the
manufacturer needs to do a safety recall then they can deactivate it
remotely.”
“What?
There is a safety issue with my teeth? Are they poisoning me?”
Connor cried out, getting more agitated as he spoke.
“No,
no, sorry, please calm down. Do you remember the Third Berne
Convention? It was just after the nuclear bomb attack in the Turkish
Republic of Northern Cyprus so the mainstream media didn't really
report a lot on the negotiations, but that is when they brought in
the new rules on intellectual property. There was a patient safety
provision which mandated the inclusion of the chip so they could
track defects. There is nothing wrong with your teeth, they are not
dangerous. It is just that they used the safety feature to remotely
kill them because your dentist had not paid the licensing fees.
Basically your teeth are unlicensed and infringing manufactured
goods.”
Connor
was shaking his head in disbelief, refusing to believe what he was
hearing. His dentist had sold the treatment to him as being top of
the range, with a life time guarantee. How could this be happening?
He wasn't some fake designer leather purse from a Chinese sweatshop
or pirated music clip exceeding the 3-second limit on fair use for
previewing! This was his own body, his teeth grown from his own
cells.
Slowly
be became aware that Jaśmina had continued talking. “... not
reversible I'm afraid. The teeth can't be re-implanted and as you had
a full set you are going to lose all of them. I can remove them now
if you want or you can wait for them to fall out on their own. I can
give you a set of temporary dentures while we grow a new set of your
own teeth.”
Connor
looked at her, started to speak and then caught himself, pausing
briefly before continuing “Look, I'm a little dazed and confused.
Can we take a break so I can go splash some cold water on my face?”
***
Coming
back from the restroom, Connor said “Are you licensed?”, looking
straight into the dentist's eyes.
Jaśmina
smiled at him. “Yes, I'm licensed but not for the patented method
that your previous dentist used. I do mostly OpenTeeth work. Here,
let me show you my current accreditations.” She worked the screen
briefly, bringing up her profile with live links to a standards body
that verified her certificates.
Connor
nodded, checked the certificates closely and then asked her
“OpenTeeth? What is that?”
“It
is similar to the treatment you had before, but it is not covered by
patents. The work was done in collaboration between the University of
Gothenburg – that is in Sweden - and the Dental Hospital in
Glasgow, then licensed under Creative Commons. There are no extra
fees for using it as it was developed by public funded research, they
publish everything in open journals as there are strict policies
against patenting anything that is derived from research initiatives
that are funded by taxation.”
“Ok,
eh, I haven't heard about this before. Why didn't my dentist use it
then, is it substandard?” Connor asked.
“No,
they are feature equivalent but because there is no advertising they
don't really have the same name recognition as the major brands. A
lot of people haven't heard of it, I mean if you are not a dentist
then you probably don't read dental journals, right? That is really
the only place this gets discussed. Teeth are like any other consumer
product, when people don't have any real insight they tend to use
price as a guide to quality and the patent methods are by far the
most expensive. Your dentist could charge a much higher price for
using the patented method and as he wasn't paying license fees the
money went straight into his pocket.”
“Speaking
of my money, how do I get it back? It looks like my dentist is gone
and the clinic closed down” Connor said. “Can I claim against the
rights holders?”
Shaking
her head, Jaśmina answered “No, they will state that the teeth
were implanted by fraudulent means and deny responsibility, saying
you should have checked his licenses. You could pursue a claim
against the dentist if you can find him, but other than that it is a
lost cause.”
“Are
there any, uhm, safety provisions in the OpenTeeth?” Connor asked.
“No,
the researchers didn't see any reason to include it. There are no
known safety risks with teeth grown in the lab from the patients own
stem cells. The stimulus methods provide strict control over growth
and the implant step is done after growth is completed.” Jaśmina
said. “There are no hazardous materials in the teeth either, they
are identical to original human teeth except for enhanced resistance
and durability.”
“Has
there ever been a safety issue with these teeth? Or with the patented
ones I had before?” he asked.
“No,
none, it really is a proven method. The only remote kills ever done
were on patented teeth due to invalid licensing and there has never
been a recall of OpenTeeth product” she answered. “Also, it is
not like the books or music that used to be in the public domain
before it was sold off to private rights holders, the Creative
Commons is a real license that protects works but it doesn't try to
extract fees from users. There are some specific rules about how it
can be used, for example I can only charge you for my time and costs,
not for the design of the teeth. Also I have to encode the teeth with
the license and attribute the design to the original researchers, not
to my own name. The final product is yours though, free to use in
perpetuity but you can't sell them to anybody.”
“I
don't see any reason I would ever sell my own teeth.” Connor said
“You have convinced me. No extra fees, no remote kill. It looks
like I'll be getting some of those OpenTeeth then.”
***
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